election year blues

something i've always loved about my mother is her drive. she feels very passionately about a lot of things, and her passion is contagious. without her, i'd probably be a witless couch potato.

while my appreciation for her grows stronger though, i realized some years ago that my opinion is often different from hers. i still listen--but in the end, she's my mom and there's very little space to argue (not to mention, if you knew my mom you would know better than to put up a fight).

her latest topic of conversation is gay marriage. i've kept up with the news...rosie, the mayor who's been marrying couples illegally, etc.my mom told me angrily last weekend that she couldn't understand why gay couples had to marry. she said it made her angrier still to hear that gay couples wanted to adopt their own children. she wanted to know where people would draw the line.

it's really not surprising my mom would feel this way. according to my own (light) research, 40% of high school students said in a study that they were prejudiced against homosexuals. i'm pretty sure the same goes for a lot of adults. and, just looking around at our friends, it's pretty evident that many of us are socialized to be somewhat homophobic.

i don't really know what i feel about the morality of homo- and bi-sexuality. i almost feel horrible saying it, but i'm not the first person you'll see out there advocating gay marriage. it's NOT because i'm against it nor because i feel gay couples are unfit parents (i actually believe quite the contrary), but because i'm not sure what God really has in mind. in simple terms--i just don't really get it.

what i do believe is that men and women, regardless of their sexuality or gender identification, deserve basic human rights. for example, children deserve to go to school in a safe environment where they can explore their own identities without having to face violence and social stigma. men and women should not have to watch their backs especially because of their beliefs, appearances, or practices. i also believe there are tons of homosexual men and women out there who would serve as better parents than all the negligent, psychotic and abusive straight parents in america.

but marriage or not? i don't know, and i can't really say that i care (to all my hardcore left-wing friends out there, please don't shoot me). while this topic is close to a lot of good hearts, i just can't get over my disgust of how shit (like this topic and others) conveniently get blown up during the election year. bush has been pushing for stupid legislation since the beginning of his presidency--what of those topics? what of the patriot act? what if it gets renewed again? what if when pat comes back, he's going to have to head over to korea?

and as the mainstream media and all the people of new york are hounding bloomberg for an opinion, do they realize that they're just trying to FORCE him into saying something political? half of us are hoping he'll say something stupid and commit political suicide, and the other half is hoping for his support. we need to realize that these political games are just NOT the point. the point is the big picture. the point is, we can't listen to ANY of these guys--not kerry, not bush, not nader--because they're on our payroll. of COURSE they're going to kiss our ass. THEY WANT TENURE.

get to the issues. don't let them put blinders on us.

and speaking of payroll and taxdollars, tax season is here. april 15 is coming soon, so i thought this little bit of information would be interesting (may be interesting to certain stockholders out there as well):

For-Profit Patriotism By Richard Muhammad, AlterNet March 4, 2004 Halliburton, a high-powered company formerly led by Vice President Dick Cheney, is under fire. Company employees allegedly overcharged the military for gasoline brought in to Iraq from Kuwait, accepted $6.3 million in kickbacks for steering subcontracts in Iraq to a Kuwaiti firm and stiffed the government for meals not served to soldiers. The company has received billions in Pentagon contracts to handle non-combat tasks, like laundry, meals and base-building in Iraq and Afghanistan, say analysts. The Defense Department and State Department opened probes of Halliburton in late February. "The Pentagon's decision to investigate criminal wrongdoing by Halliburton is commendable and an important first step," said Chris Kromm, co-director of the Campaign To Stop the War Profiteers. But, he continued, the scandals around Halliburton and other military contractors warrant a full inquiry into the politics, contract decisions and performance of firms given billions of taxpayer dollars. "Recent revelations about questionable billing and procurement practices have raised important questions about the quality of government oversight in Iraq and whether the Bush administration is adequately protecting the interests of American taxpayers," said Keith Ashdown, of Taxpayers for Common Sense. "Hundreds of millions of dollars are being wasted as a result of unscrupulous conduct by contractors, lax government controls and oversight. A bipartisan, independent commission is needed to review the performance of contractors under existing contracts and monitor the letting of subcontracts," Ashdown said. read more...

this inspired from another's entry:

i grew up thinking it was horrible for a woman to base her attraction for a man on wealth and power. in fact--i think most young women felt the same way. they believed in true love, possibly in destiny, in sould mates--all for one very simple reason: lack of experience.

i'm still in that stage myself, and a lot of the time i'm a little disgusted when my older girlfriends gush about the ways they plan to make their men shower them with expensive gifts, or about how they plan on marrying rich and cruising down the highway of life with no traffic. they take one look at my face, they laugh, and they say...some day, loretta. some day you'll understand.

two years ago i disagreed, and i disagreed adamantly. i still feel that my love comes with commitment, so rich or poor--i'm prepared for it all. i'm 99.9% positive that i can endure physical and financial stress so long as it is with the person i love. but i have to admit: the older i get, the more i understand where my friends are coming from. while it sounds horrible and deceitful for women to look for a man with money, most people (including women) never stop to think about WHY.

now's a good time to start.

it's all fine and dandy to be devoted to someone you "love." in the beginning, love is enough to hold a pauper and a princess together--but that initial passion only goes so far. most people define love as that heady, tingly feeling you get when you're around a person you have chemistry with. it's the desire, the attachment, or the shared history. but sadly, if your definition of "love" doesn't include UNCONDITIONAL commitment and loyalty, even the most smitten couples will struggle to stick together.

most couples hit a pretty gangsta roadblock called financial trouble. bills need to be paid, responsibility needs to be taken, and all the love in the world can't exactly fight off the bad credit reports. then, when the shit hits the fan, most individuals who don't come from decent families and who aren't future oriented enough to have a decent-sized savings account with some spare change on the side are unreliable. from there, other problems start: fighting, frustration, nitpicking, cheating, you name it. it's not always in that order, but well...life can be rough, and shit happens. those who are unprepared are in for an ugly ride and a messy breakup.

but getting back to the topic at hand: a man (or woman) with no money is likely irresponsible, fickle, selfish, stupid, or all of the above. if he can't hold a job, how will he stay true to a long-term relationship? and when the lovey dovey shit dies away and the going gets tough, who's going to be responsible to keep the couple together? some people will take on the challenge--but many can't handle it. and in many cases, women get burned by men (rich and poor alike), so they find safety nets in men with stable incomes. it reduces the risk factor.

i'm not justifying gold-digging. but what both men and women need to do is re-evaluate themselves, and their definition of love. some women find that being in love isn't worth a rough life. some highly successful people are fotunate enough to fall in love and stay that way. still others sacrifice everything they have for the sake of love...but i think it's fair to say that doesn't happen too often.

the question isn't why women are attracted to money and power, but what our priorities are. it's much easier to choose a partner when you know what you're trying to get out of it. i know my priorities, and i'll stick with them to the death. so ladies and gents--what are yours?

talk about emotional rollercoasters--i'm REALY excited.

I GOT THE GIG AT NEWSDAY! (doing victory dance)

it's perfect--i'll be working like 10 minutes from my house, i'll be back where all this journalism stuff started for me, and i'm going to be doing it full time with pay during a hot season in an intense year.

thank you, God. my depression just went out the door with a quickness!

this, my friends, is what i call good shit.

my days feel significantly longer, and it's confusing. i was walking home from the bus stop on wednesday and i panicked for almost 5 seconds because i thought it was already THURSDAY evening. OMG, i thought...i forgot to move my car to the other side of the street, etc.

what gives? am i getting old? this happens more frequently than i like it to. for one, it makes my week seem 6 or 7 days long instead of 5.

part of the reason may be the pressure i've felt lately. i guess i never really realized how much i appreciate being around my bf. i'm not love-sick, but i do know that i can act like myself around him (for the most part anyway). i don't have to try an act like some uber-intellectual with something to say about everything. i'm not even sure if other people appreciate my "outside" personality, but i know i feel compelled to be a certain way when i'm in public. it gets tiring.

that's probably why being in manhattan is so exhausting for me all the time. here, you're always around tons of potentially judgemental people and two blocks away from running into someone you know. before you realize it, you've gone for about 12 or 13 hours straight without getting a break from it all. at home, you can find safety zones in your car, your house, etc.

just to digress a little, i think it's a lot like being on the beach. the best way to get a tan is to spend hours in a place with absolutely NO shade. whether you're reading, swimming, playing, resting--you're constantly exposed to the sun. well in manhattan, you can do whatever you want--there's ALWAYS that exposure. and because i have this stupid need to act all the time, i have to carry that act with me everywhere i go.

anyway, time to go home!